


Someone To Lean On

by FruitPunch493



Series: When Green and Blue Mix [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, mentions of domestic abuse, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruitPunch493/pseuds/FruitPunch493
Summary: Peridot has never liked her roommate, Lapis's, girlfriend. When Lapis starts acting distant, Peridot knows something is wrong.This is a repost of an old work.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: When Green and Blue Mix [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718296
Kudos: 36





	Someone To Lean On

If anyone asked for the exact moment Lapis Lazuli and I became friends, I probably wouldn't be able to tell them. We had always been friends. Hell, we grew up in the same neighborhood, shared many of our interests, went to the same school. In many ways it seemed impossible that we wouldn't be friends. We were practically inseparable, and never really had to be apart despite our busy schedules as college students.

We had decided to get an apartment together a couple of years ago when we started college, yet neither of us were there during the day, and for the past year she was hardly there at night either. She would never tell me where she was when she would be gone for several days at a time, but it was rather obvious already that, if she wasn't working, she was at her girlfriend's house.

I envied her girlfriend, Jasper, for many things, Lapis herself topping that list. Jasper was a large strawberry-blond who obviously worked out on the regular--incredibly muscular, yet still somehow maintained a rather girlish figure. Don't ask me how she managed that, because it seemed rather impossible to me.

The first time I had met her was when Lapis had invited her over for dinner. I would have been taken off guard by her "in-your-face" personality and gruff voice if I hadn't already been surprised by the skin condition she had. I couldn't remember the name of it--vitiligo, I think it was--that caused white patches everywhere. As rude as it was, I found it impossible not to stare. Not that she hadn't been pretty, because she still had a pretty face despite the splotches everywhere. I know that it would have been impossible not to stare even without them. I wanted to figure out what exactly my friend had seen in her. I wanted to pick out every single feature that Lapis had fallen so head-over-heels for.

I just couldn't see it.

Eventually, dinner had ended and Jasper had left, but not before leaning forward to give Lapis a farewell kiss. I don't think the door had closed before I was sprung with the question on me of "what did you think of her?" As soon as she asked that, I stared, lips pursed together. To be completely honest, I hadn't liked her much. She seemed far too brutish and cocky to be dating the humble, graceful swimmer that was my best friend. They didn't seem like they would click as well as they appeared to be. All Jasper had done the entire night was talk, mostly flaunted herself and her accomplishments. A surprise, considering the fact that Lapis hated bragging. In fact, she had been uncharacteristically quiet during dinner. I didn't like it. Regrettably, I didn't have the heart to vocalize this.

"Yeah, she seems pretty cool," I had lied, indifference evident on my face and a sharp bite to every syllable that Lapis hadn't caught. How could I expect her to, though? I had just told her that I approved of the girl she was dating. She skipped off to her room with a hum of agreement and a giddy look on her face.

That left me to sit on the couch for the next several hours, zoning in and out despite my attempts to watch the new season of Camp Pining Hearts. The pang of jealousy sitting uncomfortably somewhere between my stomach and my throat until I conked out.

The knowledge that I had willingly given away my best friend, the love of my life, to someone who I didn't think deserved her was not something I would be getting over anytime soon.

* * *

The next year after that dinner had seemed to pass at a grueling pace. It consisted of me sitting around in our apartment whenever I didn't have classes or work, usually either watching TV or working on homework. Lapis was almost always at Jasper's, usually letting herself in with the key Jasper had given her and staying for a while even if the larger girlfriend wasn't there. It was a pretty normal schedule, despite how lonely I was growing. Until one day, everything seemed to change.

I will never forget that day: it was a cold, late November afternoon. I was in my usual spot, curled up on the couch under a blanket as re-runs of Camp Pining Hearts played in the background that I didn't actually hear due to me being so caught up in a robotics project I was working on. I was in the middle of tightening some screws when Lapis burst into our apartment, tears spilling out over her dampened cheeks while new ones formed in her eyes, earning a look that was equal parts concerned and surprised from me. It was their one year, as she had told me a couple of hours prior when she had left, so I had anticipated that she would just be staying the night at her house. She wouldn't look at me or say anything, simply headed off to her room where she moped for hours upon hours.

After giving Lapis some time to herself, I went to check up on her. It took some time to get her to open the door, but after much coaxing, the sound of the lock clicking reached my ears and the door slowly swung open, a sniffling Lapis appearing in the doorway. It appeared as though she had calmed down some and, though it didn't take a rocket scientist to tell that she had been crying, I had to ask the question anyway: "Are... you okay?" My squeaky voice was uneven and and shaky; riddled with doubt. After all, would Lapis even want to talk about whatever was bothering her? She seemed to be beating herself over whatever it was, 

She sniffled again lip quivering as her composure completely shattered, throwing her into a fit of violent sobs. "She cheated on me, Peri!" she cried, fists flying to her eyes in a vain attempt to stop the never-ending flood of tears. "I walked into her apartment and she was in there with another girl!" She yelled through the sentence, as that was the only way that she could manage to speak without her voice cracking.

I stared as she fell apart in front of me. It was so hard watching her like this. Jasper had been her everything, and she had just thrown that away. I awkwardly reach for my friend, wrap my arms around her and pull her to lean on me, inviting her to cry into my shoulder. If only Jasper had known what she had, maybe Lapis wouldn't have to suffer like this.

I might have hated Jasper, but at least Lapis didn't seem so broken with her.

* * *

The next couple of weeks after that day were the worst. Jasper would swing by on occasion and I would send her away, telling her that I didn't know what Lapis wanted but, as her best friend, I felt that I had the authority to make that call for her until she willing to make one. I didn't want her in our apartment, anyway. Getting the strawberry-blond to leave without incident seemed as though it would be tough, though she talked a bigger game than she would ever actually deliver. There were many verbal threats and insults that I endured, but it wasn't so bad; not much worse than the bullying problem I had in grade school. At least I knew, almost for a fact, that she wasn't going to hit me.

Jasper stopped showing up as often after a week, and her threats increasingly less energetic and emotional than they had in the beginning. That was when Lapis would finally come out and hang out with me, just like she did before Jasper had walked into her life. The amount of times she would find herself at our door dwindled until almost a month later when she stopped showing up altogether. Still, each time she had shown up Lapis would quietly walk to her room and lock herself away, never needing to vocalize the fact that she still wanted me to send her away. It was better that way, I thought, though she wouldn't come out for the rest of the night whenever this happened.

As much as I hated to say it, I liked that Lapis and Jasper weren't seeing each other anymore. It gave me more time to have my friend to myself and a way to act as though I hadn't been cast to the side without so much as a second glance. In fact, it was strange. Now that Jasper was pretty much out of the picture, it seemed like all of her attention was directed at me. Yes, things had pretty much reverted to how they were pre-Jasper, but things weren't exactly how they had been before. If anything, I would say that Lapis had pretty much used me to replace Jasper. Whether it be her laying her head in my lap, or pulling me close to her and holding me to her chest while we watched TV, or even coming to sleep in my room because she wasn't "used to sleeping alone that often". I welcomed it wholeheartedly, though I feared I was there to fill some kind of void that had been created. That maybe she didn't want me and I was only being kept around so that she wouldn't have to be alone while she was slowly recovering from discovering the truth about Jasper.

* * *

Before I knew it, a month and a half had passed since Lapis walked in on Jasper and her lover. I felt like Lapis was finally adjusting to life without Jasper. It was obvious in the way she started smiling that beautiful, real smile she had before Jasper came along. one day, she walked out in the living room, heavy coat adorning her petite form, bulky scarf wrapped loosely around her neck all the way up to her chin, blue jeans and converse.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked out of curiosity. I assumed she was heading to the indoor pool that the university kept on campus for the swim team to practice during the winter months. She'd stopped going as often after she found out about Jasper. In fact, she'd basically stopped leaving our apartment period. I couldn't blame her.

She took a deep, shaky breath in and spoke on the exhale, "I'm going to talk to Jasper." She had said it confidently enough, though her body language betrayed her conviction.

I blinked, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. That sounded like a bad idea. "Are... Are you sure?" I asked, hands fidgeting awkwardly at my sides.

She gave a shrug and then a nod. "I'm just gonna go talk to her. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Oh, okay," I said as she gave a slight wave and walked out the door without another word. I was worried, to say the least. What if she chose to give Jasper another chance? I bit my lip as I sat back on the couch and returned to my robotics project. I was making better progress than I had anticipated, but I couldn't focus. My thoughts kept drifting back to whatever Lapis and Jasper might be talking about. It was nerve wracking to think that Lapis might go back into a relationship with her. But no. Lapis wouldn't do that. That wasn't like her at all.

As promised, though, she returned about an hour later, eyes red and puffy from crying. She sniffled as she sat next to me on the couch, causing me to avert eye contact and continue working on my robot. After about five or ten minutes, I finally spoke.

"So, how did it go?" She shrugged. "What did you guys talk about?"

"I told why I'm not coming back to her," Lapis mumbled, staring at the ground, a deep, contemplative look coming over her features.

"And why is that?"

She froze. Froze in a way that left me anxious.

"Peridot," she began, giving a sigh, "you have to promise you won't tell anyone if I tell you."

"You know anything you say is safe with me," I say, giving her the most serious look I could manage.

"Jasper treated me like shit." She took a deep breath and said in a shaky tone, "she hit me, Peridot." 

I stared. Why was I just hearing about this for the first time? I had been so sure that Jasper was her everything and that she treated her right. Why hadn't she told me about this? Better yet, why hadn't she just left? And, even better, why had she tried to convince everyone that Jasper was so perfect even though she clearly wasn't. Once she realized I wasn't going to say anything, she continued speaking.

"It was really only when I wouldn't listen to her, which sounds stupid now that I say it out loud." She gave a dry, humorless laugh as she bit her lip. "You know, people warn you about abusive relationships but just how much they hurt doesn't really hit until right after you get out of one and start rediscovering who you were without them."

"Was she... controlling?" I asked, though I immediately regretted it when she saw the look on her face. It had been a stupid question, but the only one that really came to mind.

"Very," she responded coldly. "You know, a few months into our relationship, I realized how much I missed you, Peri," she whispered. "I know she took all my time, but that wasn't entirely my choice. I wanted to come back and be with you, but Jasper wouldn't have had that. She had me so convinced that she was this broken shell of a person and I was so focused on fixing her and I just really didn't want to upset her because I loved her. Well, I thought I did." Lapis' entire body relaxed into the couch, her head resting back so she was staring at the ceiling. "It ends up, there's someone else I love."

My stomach dropped at the news. I had just gotten Lapis back. I couldn't lose her again, not to somebody else. Despite the fact that not an ounce of me wanted to know, I couldn't help the brief and uncertain "who" that rolled off of my tongue.

Silence fell between us for what felt like an eternity before Lapis allowed her head to fall to the side so she was looking directly into my eyes. "You," she answered, voice barely above a whisper.

I sucked in air, face heating up as I stared into her blue eyes. Before I even realized either of us had begun leaning in, I felt our lips touch, brushing lightly against each other before Lapis pulled back, shaking her head. "I'm sorry," she said, withdrawing to her side of the couch, pulling her knees to her chin, "I need some time..."

I offered a weak smile. "That's okay." And it really was, I mused to myself.

I was willing to wait as long as it took for Lapis to decide she was ready.


End file.
